Before You Can Fight

Since I got my first beard, I stopped fighting useless battles; those battles which you fight, win but they do not add value to you. I learned it the hard way. That will be a story for another day, let me tell you this one.

One time I received a call from some guy, an acquaintance. It was too noisy in the background and could not hear what he was saying. Therefore, I decided to hang up but he immediately called back and I had no choice but endure the noise to pick out what he was saying;

"Are you near Busiu Police Station?", he asked.

I was working from nearby and I replied in the affirmative.

Then came this guy's request.

"Please help us and ask Police guys to come over and help out. We are here fighting and it is a serious one"

I calmly answered him,

"I see very many people at the Police Station and all the police officers seem to be busy; please stop fighting and ask your colleagues to resume the fight later when the police guys are not very busy."

But before I could hang up, I heard him say something like, "okay, let us just come to the police station"

True to his word, in less than 10 minutes I saw two motorcycles arrive at the police station carrying persons, some of who were bleeding. It must have been a bloody fight!

The lesson I picked is that before you start a fight, make sure that you have someone who will readily come in to separate you; or else, you will kill yourselves.

Before sending the rockets, Palestine knew that gracious people will stand up in solidarity and Israel knew that America was on their side. Israel also had iron domes, they did not spend a night in the stadium praying for a miracle.

Have a nice weekend!

Fixing our Nation as A Collective Responsibility

Just as day follows night, one day we shall wake up when Museveni is not president of Uganda anymore. He will be featuring prominently in the books and news as the former president of Uganda. One whose reign was characterised by corruption, human rights abuse, high levels of poverty, unfulfilled promises, blatant
abuse of the constitution and mass financial mismanagement. Then those who served him as if they were serving an eternity shall be tasked by their grandchildren as why they chose wrong over right. You won't deny it since all your acts of today shall have been captured on internet.

About his going, we are sure that he will and we shall remain with this beautiful country, Uganda. The bad news is that we are also likely to remain with our poverty, corruption and most of the present wrongs. These evils we so much becry will probably continue. It is not because we do not have faith in the upcoming leaders but because, he will not be replaced with angels. 

President Museveni will be replaced with the current politicians; either those in opposition or the ones in the current government. Those in government will uphold his policies while those in opposition will try to forge a different way forward under the same deficiencies. By the general look of things, the issues we have with Museveni's government are the same practices in the opposition parties. I shall not talk about the intolerance, and politics of patronage but the content that the parties are parading, the populism with no concrete evidence of the same being applied in their own institutions. 

Photo of President Museveni (Photo may be subject to copyright)

If they were serious about changing this country, now would be the time when the opposition political parties would illustrate to us by doing what the government has failed to do; create jobs, eliminate corruption and mismanagement within their own parties, but this is not the case.

Very many political parties are sitting on a abyss of corruption and mismanagement.

If they are truly committed to changing the lives of Ugandans, then this would be the time: so that we can see that if government is mismanaging Emyooga, then NUP comes up with its own and shows us what should be done, we need to see FDC come up with a better model of Operation Wealth Creation, and DP show us how Bonabagagale should have been done by practically implementing what they are critical of.

Don't talk about resources; political parties must have the resources to improve their members' livelihoods. If a presidential candidate received billions for campaigns and yet says he cannot raise the same amount in the next 5 years to elevate their members, then know that their promises were hot air, a fallacy or a fantasy.

Am I talking or I am communicating?

Uganda, Why the Rush?

There is a common saying among the young people of Buganda; "Topapa, ojakutomera" meaning "don't rush, you may crash". It seems like this saying needs to be told with illustrious examples so that it can sink into the brains of all Ugandans.

This is my brother Collin Mukhatere

When you find us on the road, we are always in a rush: the push and shove on the streets of Kampala, the overtaking on the roads all over the country, it is always rush hour, laced with a lot of impatience.

When you ask where we are rushing, I cannot exactly tell because same Ugandans are not good with time management. Then why the rush?

When we drive at 100/hr, you may think we are trying to make it earlier than scheduled, for an appointment, but no: most Ugandans never keep time.

Four years ago we invited this "big man" to an event which was slated to start at 3pm.

He confirmed attendance a day before and indeed dispelled our fears of him being late for the occasion.

On d-day, we were all conscious of the need to keep time and indeed we invited the other guests an hour earlier so that by 3pm, all was set. "Big man" was no where, 30 minutes down.

I decided to make this humble call and indeed he picked.

"Hello young man, mpozi your event is today?" he asked

"What is the time right now?" he probed

This is annoying; that someone scheduled for an event is not even keeping track of time of the day and you expect him to remember the time scheduled for your function? Go to hell.

But the end result of our poor management is the rush and push; the reaction without thinking which leads to disasters. Majority Ugandans are in a rush because they are late for an appointment, school or office. This creates a rare of urgency which develops into impatience and the end result is the rampant accidents we have on the roads, traffic jam caused by wrong driving and all evils associated with reactionary behaviour.

Back to our "big man" in the story above; as he rushed to our event, he knocked a bodaboda motorcylist and only his name saved him from spending the weekend in a police cell.

Therefore, Ugandans, we do not need to rush, we just need to manage our time; for all the rushing we have been into, our economy seems not to much our pace because; we rush because we are late.

Your Education Must Redeem You II

These ears, they like gossip so much that however much you try to avoid it, some words find themselves into you. 

Last year, I was somewhere minding my business when a highly diplomatic argument broke out between a mother and her daughter.

Ears on the ground. This is what happened.

At first, the quarrel was the usual noise made when two axes are put in the same basket; as said by Ngugi Wa Miri in their book ''I Will Marry When I Want".

What startled me to start questioning my ears' credibility was when the daughter asked her mother what she is doing in her marital home and yet her husband (daughter's father) had departed the world.

Precisely, she said, "Why don't you go back to your father's home? This is my father's house and you who has only one daughter have no claim to it. This house belongs to I and my step brothers" 

A child is chasing her biological mother from her house.

This is it:

The daughter is the only child of her mother. Her father who was also the husband to her mother and another woman died a few years ago. 

A structure atop Wanale Hill in Mbale. Photo taken in 2018

This daughter has tried a hand at marriage but she has not yet stabilised (as we all understand "marriage-things" nowadays). Therefore, many times (not once) in a while when she goes out there and things do not work out, she returns with a child and stays until another marriage calls. But this time round, the lockdown complicated things and delayed her next marriage.

The axes when kept in the same basket they must necessarily knock against each other. On her next marriage trip, she went and left all her children to the same mother she was trying to chase from her own home.

That is how complicated things can be.

If you're planning to become LC 1, those are the cases you have to handle. One day I shall tell you about a mistress who sued someone's husband for infecting her with a disease that she could not disclose. But because it may involve a lot of reference to private parts, I need to write it when I am drunk. Who is buying the drink?

Love Through the Eyes of A Mother

Upon realising that his girlfriend was staring at him, he stared back at her; she then asked, "do you like the food?"

He did not respond but just stared back at her with a smile. She very much reminded him of his elderly mother and he did not hesitate to tell her, how he was fond of his mother before work and adult life separated them.

"You have asked me the same question 3 times."

Internet photo (May be subject to copyright)

"And you have not replied", she replied with a beaming smile covering her face. He lovingly looked back at her and put the folk down then reached for her hand and gripped it then closed his eyes; "I feel so lucky to have you". The grip was so firm; it felt like letting go, he would lose her.

"You very much remind me of my mother; right now she must be lying in bed or kneeling at the bed side, saying a prayer and interceding to God on my behalf. she is an amazing woman. When I had just completed college and secured my first job with the insurance company, my mother meant a lot to me; she was my courage, she was my morale; I could intimate to her all my thoughts, all my plans and ambitions."

"Mother always waited for me to return; and I normally returned home at 8pm to find when she has already prepared our dinner. I remember the small bucket in which she would place my food to keep it warm; I wonder whether it is still there. I would sit on the wooden chair called mussesa, my mother would sit on her mat in the corner and stare at me as I ate away. She always knew when I was enjoying or not: she could always know when my day was good or the day was bad; that woman had a way of reading my mind."

"Whenever I was about to empty my plate, she could reach for the pot, scoop drinking water and pass it to me. I could argue with mother as to why she has to pass me the water all the time but it was now routine because that argument would then lead us to our conversation. She would then ask many questions some of which I answered while others I could say were beyond her age to understand."

"".......... you're working with people who when my house burns they can build for me a new house, when someone steals my land they can give me another piece of land. Are they not the same people who burn people's houses and steal people's land so that they can replace and stay in business?" my mother asked one night."

“No mother. Insurance companies aver the perils which will require indemnity; when you insure your house and it burns down, it is an expense replacing it and another thing, our company cannot insure land against theft.”

“"Then what can poor me also protect from loss", she asked while stretching to hit a cockroach that was roaming around the room."

"Mother you can insure your life"

""Wait, you mean I can insure my life so that when I die......................""

To be continued

Your Education Must Redeem You!

When villagers reach Kampala, they are always surprised by our high levels of "ignorance", born out of education and disconnect from reality.

Do you know what it feels like to sit in a meeting meant to discuss the issues of delayed rain for the season. In the meeting, people exchange ideas and normally come up with practical solutions which they execute without any ounce of procrastination.

Last month, there is a teacher who was summoned to a village meeting somewhere here in Bugisu; it was supposed to discuss the sudden deaths whose cause was pointing in the direction of witchcraft. Apparently, the teacher has gone "under water" and returned with voodoo (mayembe) which is picking the villagers one by one. 

(Author at Nyero Rocks in Kumi District)

Poor man had attended the meeting to defend himself against all allegations. He had succeeded in clearing his name until one of the dead guys came out and affirmed the accusations against the teacher. No, the dead guy did not rise, he spoke through one of his emissaries. 

The emissary started with hallucinations which attracted other members of the gathering. He then went on to mention the list of the people who are lined up for the grave, some of whom were in the meeting. He then dropped the bomb shell of the cause of their death.

The meeting did not end well, it was not as well organised as the one which was discussing the delayed rains. This particular one amicably adjourned when they had resolved to go and beat up the one who was "tying the rain". On their way to the suspected umukyimba (title given to people who stop rains), they met a government official who explained the consequences of their action. But what do these kids know. 

The entourage matched on to their destination. When they did not find their pick for the beating, the anger was channeled to his goats. Later in the evening, it rained heavily and destroyed a number of houses.

These things came to mind when I was being told about a woman in Busoba Sub County of Mbale District who was hacked to death a few days ago. Her crime; she is a witch. Don't you think that we have a long way to go?

When you find us thinking hard, just know what is on our mind: How shall we treat witchcraft in in the middle income economy? If one can bewitch the other, why do we bother with going into an election when we can line the witches and do away with our tormentors? 

On a serious note, let us who have been to school help to enlighten our people; these brutal, rudimentary behaviours need to end as soon as yesterday; we can predict rain, we have very many cancers which cannot be detected in village clinics, stop this village talk of; "they have checked and not seen any disease"

There is a pertinent reason as to why we spend some few years in school!

Dreams Which Haunt Me

In the infancy of my Christian faith, I used to interpret and lose sleep over dreams. It was not until recently that I convinced my mind that these dreams are actually a continuation of a movie that played out physically or in my mind during the day. Some dreams are as a result of the mounds of kalo or heaps of potatoes that we, villagers crash just a few minutes to bed time.

Uganda Military Police flogging Journalists
(Photo maybe subject to Copyright)

I no-longer scratch my head to understand why in my dream, I was closely following Dr Col Besigye as he commanded us to look out for South Sudanese who killed 9 Ugandans.

I just know that it is a big zest, an animating spirit, a desire for leadership which cares about Ugandans in Uganda and Ugandans outside Uganda. The unanswered question of why Ugandans die like paupers in foreign countries and our rulers are not moved an inch.

I know that it is a result of a fantasy about a  leadership which doesn't look forward to military expeditions to collect money from Americans but a chance to export peace and apathy won by gracious Ugandans to other nations: a leadership that does not glory in keeping its soldiers in another country for 13 years but kind enough to execute a mission successfully and return in one piece. A leadership which does not see a stable East Africa as a threat to its own autocracy but a relief from perpetual violence that have dogged our region for centuries.

Back to my dream:

We were squarely defeated by South Sudanese who were led by Gen Tibs Kaguta. All along, we thought that he was fighting with us.