Bride Price Derails Gender Equality

Have you ever imagined appreciating someone, then that person calls you to his home, informs you about the nature of gift he wants, the quantity and the time when he needs it; in the process, you hire mercenaries to head your team of negotiators so that your intended gifting does not have to be too costly; indeed because you cannot agree, sometimes the negotiations spill over to the next day until you strike a compromise; all in the name of your wish to gift someone?

It is a long sentence but that is how dowry/bride price sounds to me.

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Pope Francis is one of my great inspirations; not only as a spiritual father but a wholesome human being with a heart of mercy, kindness and humanity. At the infancy of his papacy, he made a great statement when he said, "Things have a price and can be for sale, but people have a dignity that is priceless and worth far more than things"

This quote strikes me every time I think about the issue of gender disparity in Uganda which is glorified in action but despised in word, mostly in regard to bride price. The question is, why should we pay bride price?

Going by its name, I think bride price is the price tagged against the female when they are being united with a man to form a marriage; either religiously, or traditionally. 

Ugandans most especially women may deny the fact but some parents out there are looking out to their daughters as a source of income in form of bride price. Indeed, some parents have gone an extra of hiring mercenaries/professional salesmen to haggle/bargain the amount to be paid for bride price.

I find it funny that female activists who passionately preach equality still think that it is incumbent upon the man to pay money in order to earn himself a wife and still treat her as an equal in that marriage; it is ironic.

It is high time we manned up and accepted to have the cake or to eat it; we cannot attain equality if one gender is for sale while the other pays. Okay, some people say it is appreciation, but when is the appreciation coming to the man's side?

We have studied with Nabweteme from P.1 to University, we finish school and walk the same streets looking for jobs, the investment from the parents has been the same, why charge me when I choose to marry Nabweteme? Why appreciate her parents and not mine?

Of course, going forward, this is a post I have to hide from my prospective parents-in-law, lest I derail all chances of ever marrying any one's girl from Uganda. But if anyone ever asks why I wrote, I will say that I meant it!