X-FILES FROM THE VILLAGE

Monday
In our culture when the mother of your wife dies, you the son in law are not supposed to attend the burial. Our culture prohibits contact between bamasaala. Bamasaala are parents of your husband or wife; you can't enter your inlaws' bedroom, share a chair; you cannot shake hands with a parents in-law of opposite sex. A woman cannot use the same latrine as her father in-law.

Tuesday

When Wetunga used to drink a little more than he is supposed to, he would turn into lose mouth. He had grown a habit of abusing people and revealing secrets. It is for this reason that before he died, Wetunga had cast a spell on his son and son's wife. It is now unfortunate he died before lifting the curse.

Wednesday

It was however her fault that she annoyed her father in law to this extent. How could she? A father in law is not supposed to even see your knees. Lifting her skirt to her husband's father and showing him her behind was horrible. In retaliation Wetunga cursed his elder son's wife. Till he died, his son Watiila has never fathered a child with his wife Namwatikho.

Thursday

Namwatikho is Watila's wife and Watila was Wetunga's son which Wetunga drowned at Marekero 3 weeks ago. 2 years ago when Watila had just married Namwatikho from Budadiri she proved to be a bad woman. She insisted and always quarreled with people who called her Namwatikho and not Namwadiko as she preferred. But it was a matter of her understanding us. We the Bagisu from South and Central have a dialectic difference. For example Nandutu is Nandudu, Nakuti is Nagudi, Negesa is Nekesa. So you cannot easily change us to call you in Ludadiri because we also think that they are not pronouncing correctly. But Namwatikho never tolerated anyone calling her so. She could abuse, fight or beat anyone who twisted her name. But that is not why she stripped for her father in law.
But when she did it, because everyone never liked her, everyone blamed her.

Friday

On that day two years ago Wetunga had gone drinking early in the morning (it happens after harvest because there is not much work to do). Namwatikho was a bride of 6 months but never got along with many other people apart from her fellow Nabudadiri who was herself calm and respectful. It was at that time when she met with her father in law and she asked him, "Father when will you ever be sober if you spend all day drinking?". This did not go down well with Wetunga who did not like her but had avoided her for the sake of family. Coupled with effect of alcohol, hell broke lose and Wetunga started a tirade of abuses on Namwatikho. He called her all the bad names that I cannot say here. Being one who was not liked no one cared to calm Wetunga all people around left him to continue. You could see people smiling from ear to ear. Being what she is She could not take it anymore and when she began abusing her father in law everyone sent their children to the house lest they hear the obscene insults being exchanged. Before they could reach her, Namwatikho lifted her skirt and showed her behind to her father in law then walked away to her house. This was enough to send alcohol intoxication off Wetunga's head.

Saturday

An event like what happened could not go without mention. It happened two years ago but it is remembered vividly like it happened yesterday. Now Wetunga is dead and was burried but its effects remains up to today. Wetunga cursed Namwatikho's womb. The one she was carrying was birthed prematurely and it died. Since then she has had 4 miscarriages in 2 years. Her father in law's death must have been a relief to her but there are times when a curse lasts long even after the person who cast it has passed on. For the case of Namwatikho, Wetunga died before lifting the curse. As we speak she has gone to the village midwife but her days had not reached. It may be the same story.

Sunday

Till now Namwatikho is still at the village midwife's place. After the event I told you about Namwatikho changed a lot. If it was not for her reforming the elders had resolved to banish her. It however also took the intervention of Muduku who is a highly respected government official for the elders to rescind the banishment of Namwatikho and her husband. Since then she has reformed and apologised to all people that she wronged. All seem to have forgiven her; Wetunga didn't.

At midday I beat a path through the shrub to also check on Namwatikho. The fruitless labour pains and the curse has taken the toll on a once lively woman; she has lost her beauty. Lying on a mat, her head supported by another folded mat and a heap of rag clothes; when she opened her eyes and saw me, I thought she recognised me and in pain she tried to smile but couldn't. She moved her hand as if to hold me but let it fall back.
I could not hold back my tears. I then remembered that last time when she had shown me the world in our banana plantation! It was my first sex after circumcision commonly known as "Kumulindi".

As i walked away, I heard sharp piercing cry right from the house that I had just left Namwatikho. I stood transfixed debating in mind whether to go back or continue forward!

She has died a bitter death!

Till then, we shall keep you posted!

A Tale of Two Beauties

"Send this message to 14 people in 10 minutes including myself. God is going to surprise you with money."

Does Heaven currency work in Uganda?

To the people who forward to us these messages sustainably, what is always going through your mind as you forward? What are your intentions? Why should I send back to you what you sent to me? The sentence does not even make sense.

It reminds me of the year 1999 back in the village called Nabisolo. Till now it is a rural area with animals like foxes, tsinjipwe, butsutse and other chicken-mauling animals whose names I can't recall neither in English nor the local Lumasaba. However, the name Nabisolo is loosely translated to mean a place of wild animals and being that it is at the foot of Wanale hill, harbouring wild animals is not anything strange. Nabisolo is found in Bungokho, one of the sub counties that make up rural Mbale.

I do not have many fond memories of this place apart from the fact that it is where I lost my virginity and maybe this other story that am going to share with you today. When you are in Nabisolo you have a good view of the plain flat areas of Mbale town and the beauty of other places like Busiu with the great Manafa River snaking through to offer water to the rice farms in Himutu, Doho, Tindi all in Butalejja. I have a feeling the river then pours into the great Mpologoma, which also delivers to Kyoga in Pallisa. In other words, you can stand on rock in Nabisolo and view three quarters of Mbale including the shanty structures of Kikamba in Mooni, Munkaga in Nauyo and the United States of Adra (USA), Maluku.

Now that you have a clear picture of Nabisolo, we can go back to 1999, the year that transformed me into a man proper. Having been circumcised on 28th December 1998, I was properly initiated into manhood on 1st January 1999 because I missed the mandatory 30th December the day I was supposed to have my shabalye. It is also the year in which I celebrated making a decade in Uganda and the world in general.

In the year 1999 in that village there lived 2 girls that I got well along with. My attachment to these girls was simple; one took my virginity, the other introduced me to her. It goes without doubt that many children in Bugisu are normally introduced to sex at a tender age. After all, it is circumcision then the need to cut what we call “kumulindi”. It happens when a circumcised boy has sex for the first time since he was circumcised. When I now look back, I think that I would not accept to do such a thing because you are not even allowed to use a condom; for better results.

Back to the story of Nakuti and Khaitsa. Khaitsa was and yes, she is still my cousin sister. She was 3 years older but our closeness mainly emanated from the fact that I was at the centre of all her relationships that I can now say were love affairs. One unique character about Khaitsa was that she was not one to refuse advances from any boy. At 12 years, you would say she was too young to be having over 4 lovers but my sister got well along with it. No wonder that she has borne us 4 nieces and 5 nephews from 3 in-laws.

I now look back and marvel at her capacity to make sure that she kept all her lovers and kept amassing them; one thing that I have failed to even contemplate doing. But this was not of her alone because even Nakuti my first cut did not end with me but that will be another day’s story. Today’s story shall be about Nakuti and Khaitsa my sister.

Born at a time when girl-child education did not mean much to the people in the slopes of Wanale, these girls knew that their mission in life was to grow, get married, tend to the children and die. It is the reason why the fate of Nakuti and Khaitsa at school would be sealed as soon as the girls started “going to the moon” as the locals used to say. Whenever the girls stained their pink school uniforms, they could be ridiculed all day and Nakuti would normally stay home for the 4 days that followed. But she did not miss much since school in such places always ended at lunch time. The time after lunch was for singing practice, games and sports. I doubt whether much has changed since then.

Nakuti and Khaitsa kept a bond that stood a test of time and I vividly remember this one evening when Khaitsa skipped school because she was in one of those “red days”. After school, Nakuti picked all her books on the pretext of coming for revision with Khaitsa. Of course she just got a good excuse to skip helping her mother prepare supper and get the goats into their place; because the two families maintained a good family friendship, it was allowed for Nakuti to stay late outside their home because she was at my uncle’s place and the same of my cousin sister Khaitsa. The girls always took advantage of this loophole to pay visits to their lovers and tell their parents they were at the other’s place.

This one evening when Nakuti visited Khaitsa, 20 minutes were spent on school work. She told Khaitsa about what transpired at school. Of course, at the back of my mind even at that tender age was why my cousin should miss school just because she is in her “moon days”, why she bled and we the boys did not bleed. No one ever bothered to tell me but it was because I never asked anyway. It has been my tendency from childhood to keep most of the questions to myself; I always believe that I will find out myself without bringing myself so low to ask.

Having grown up now to a level of appreciating the role women play in our society and being exposed to the need to have girls educated just as boys should be, I wonder why girls even up to now and tomorrow should miss school days just because they are girls. Many times I read posts of people in support or against Dr Nyanzi but on rare occasions do I see a political party raise voice in support of her cause however noble it is. That is what we call bastardising a noble cause for political gains.

Back to Nakuti. When it got late and time when she is supposed to go back home, Khaitsa offered to walk her friend outside the compound. The girl chat that the two were enjoying went on and instead of stopping her outside the compound; Khaitsa accompanied Nakuti to her house. I now look back and wonder what the girls were discussing to that extent. After greeting Nakuti’s parents and wishing them a good night, of course Nakuti had to return the favour and walk Khaitsa back home but this time with Nakuti’s brothers since it was getting late.

The next time it happened, Khaitsa never returned home

To be continued......................................

By the way, forward this message to everyone in your contacts list including me and I will surprise you with nothing.

On Gender Equality We Are Still Very Far

#Issue 28

On the issue of equality, I think that Uganda has never taken effort more than just talk and anticipation.


Girls miss school because they cannot afford sanitary pads to manage the menstrual periods but for today that will be solved by the incarceration, torture and persecution of Dr Stella Nyanzi Owenene.

When girls conceive, it marks end of their education in most cases while the boys/men continue unbothered even if they are both responsible for the pregnancy.


In all this we have had nothing but talk that we are on the path to attaining female emancipation. For me I think we shall not get there unless we erase the 19th century mentality of holding on to stupid values and useless religious beliefs that are holding back women from pursuing their dreams and enjoying a better life.


Some few years back there was a proposal by some people to start distributing condoms in high school which proposal was met with the most radical opposition which has incessantly professed their support for equality; I think this is hypocrisy of the highest level. Let us face the truth; at what stage did most of you start engaging in active sexual activities if not 13 or even below? Now what makes you think that your brothers, children and grand children will abstain till the age of 25? The refusal to offer condoms to high school students has and still exposes them to the dangers of unprotected sex such as pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Diseases like the rampant HIV/AIDS. I know that there are so many arguments against such a move as encouraging young people into early sex but come on, their absence does not deter them. The Daily Monitor ran a story of 150 students who were arrested in Mbale and found in possession of condoms. Apparently, those who were not in possession of condoms but had engaged in unprotected sex were deemed well behaved and with their good manners they will have harvested HIV and early pregnancy. My sister Martha says THEY HAVE BRAINS, BUT DO THEY USE THEM?


There was a motion by the East African Legislative Assembly also known as EALA to avail contraceptives to the students in high school. This was met with sneers, disdain, ridicule, anger, scorn, disgust, name it. Surprisingly if you asked the ones who reacted thus, they are not likely to be knowing the contents of the bill but were forming their judgement from their own sentimental hatred for anything that opens the eyes of their children to reality. Why does my Africa perceive sex a forbidden subject of indulgence and yet they engage in this activity more than any other continent?


What wrong would it be if the girls can freely and openly access contraception so that they guard self against unwanted pregnancies? WE HAVE THE BRAINS, WHEN SHALL WE USE THEM? Do you know that the boy just like the girl enjoyed sex and the girl conceived? Why should the girl pay a higher price? My opinion is that if we are not ready to prevent the pregnancies through contraception and a girl conceives, let the boy also quit school and nurse the girl till she is ready to resume school that he may also resume. If we don't do so, we shall continue electing Members of Parliament and Women members of parliament representing the same constituents and we shall continue putting our brains to rest as we grapple with a big government and slim service delivery.

The other option of having the girls stay in school even with pregnancy may not be the best because you know the prejudice they face if they stayed in the same class with your bad mannered brats.


Legalizing abortion. Let me swallow a pill before I can continue.

Whenever I have raised the point of legalizing abortion. I have faced the most demeaning looks from all sections of people across the political, religious and social divide. All Ugandans believe without doubt that abortion is the worst sin anyone can commit on earth. Many evoke my emotions by asking what would happen if I was aborted and my answer is always the same; do you think I enjoy being in the world?


But surely, why does an adulterous person who is eloping with another man's wife think that God will forgive him? Why does a thief who swindled billions meant for the poor think that his sin is not as big as murder? Why do you lie in the morning and think that you will correct one who makes an abortion? What is the measure for hell fire and sin before God? What does God say about man and sin? “All have sinned and fallen short of God's glory”. What became of this Bible verse? Am speaking Bible because I don't know much about the Holy Quran.


I remember one time when the EALA Member of Parliament Hon Mukasa Mbidde, while sharing his opinion on legalisation of abortion, reminded us that when expounding on laws people should not cite the bible and its 10 commandments because they only work in heaven.

“Before we reach heaven, we must take care of what happens here on earth. Sometimes death is necessary for provision of life. Why should one deliver a child of bad memory especially in cases of defilement and rape?”

In all this I have not made my point but we all know what wreck unwanted pregnancies are causing and worse still the illegal abortions being carried out. According to Daily Monitor of February 16th this year the Ministry of Health says 292,000 abortions are carried out annually in the country translating into 800 per day with more than a half of them procured using crude methods.


Now we have a choice; to either have female emancipation and achieve equality on paper or have female emancipation and achieve gender equality in reality. I know that in doing so we shall painfully need to put aside our beliefs, teachings and prejudices but unless we do that, the future shall only be like the present. Uganda loses so many brains in girls who drop out because they cannot manage Menstrual periods, conceive before school completion or are married off for profit.


As long as we are still holding onto the beliefs of the other generation which held the women folk back, we shall talk and talk and talk but like the weaverbirds, when the dark of the night falls, we shall be embalmed and put into that wooden casing. When we reach heaven we shall reel and sob when we realise that even God wanted us equal because he created all of us in His image but we did whatever was in our power to maintain and sustain inequality.

 For me I will be somewhere working for my Lord.

Of Sanitary Pads and Food Flasks, it is Not Nyanzi's Business Alone

Even at the climax of my timidity and fear, one thing I can authoritatively say is that Uganda or Ugandans are in a financial crisis and it is true the economy is sick and alarmingly sick. Those in the financial sector can affirm that the loan default is high and those paying are passing through untold hardships. Banks are lending cautiously with most debt being offered to government which is thought to be a secure borrower but if the nose dive continues, believe you me Uganda as government is also gonna default on its debts before 2025. The economy is in free fall and even the governors at the Central Bank are aware that they are not in charge.

Early this year, Bank Of Uganda lowered the lending rate to stimulate borrowing but there is no guarantee that those who are borrowing at these lower rates will pay without struggle if they manage to pay anyway. Even without reading between lines, one can tell that it is the result of bad investment decisions by government. Of course, I will not talk about the NRM expenditure on the campaigns that had direct bad impact on the already bad economy neither will I mention the withdrawal of donor funds from some “bunch of useless western nations” as our president calls them.

When we sunk all that money into roads, bridges, railways, statehouse and defense while ignoring other productive sectors they made things worse. Remember most of the money that is spent on infrastructure goes abroad to Chinese and there is no real value for it.

Whoever advised Museveni to sink money in the roads must be the same who told Sudhir to put money in buildings instead of lending it out. He or she must be related to FDC in one way or another. No wonder it is DFDCU bank that took over Crane Bank but that is a by the way.

For us at the grassroots we just watch and start adjusting to one meal a day. We are soon selling food flasks to buy food. Remember at first we sold cows and bought food flasks hoping to solve the issue of hunger but these food flasks were not as holy as rice from Kubiiri at the Mulago Round-about.

Every parent who bought a food flask thinking that every morning the food flask would be overflowing with food from heaven in form of mana or quill was mistaken. Our friends across the Nile waited and waited until the kids started conceiving from home. Why did mother of the nation ask people to buy food flasks when she was not gonna give them a source of food? However in essence it all sounds like a comical movie for one who has gone hungry for days to start packing food for his/her children when they are going to school.

Anyway, we cannot forget to appreciate the fellows in the Ministry of Education who have honorably and ably solved the problem of high school drop-out in Karamoja region. In fact since the days of John the Baptist this region had never witnessed such a high enrolment in the government aided schools with such regular attendance. We can copy leaf from what the Ministry did to take and keep Karimojongs in school. They serve them with free porridge at school. I hear that what those guys do is spend the morning in the bush with their cattle and at the time when the bell rings for porridge all and sundry queue for porridge. After the good porridge they all get back to their bush and to their cattle. After all what are presidents for especially if he collected 99% votes from the region where the majority pastoralists didn't even vote?

Karimojongs who stayed away from voting are way more intelligent than Kampalans and we the alleged intellectuals who stood in line for hours just to cast a vote. What changed after waiting that long?

Back to Buyende girls who started their periods early just to tarnish first Lady's name. These girls only need to have controlled their periods till the oil comes out of the ground and we got enough money for such luxuries. Can't the Basoga in Buyende also appreciate government effort and buy sanitary pads for their children? We now hear that these girls normally get money for pads from their side business after school. In the most vulnerable condition, they give out their young bodies to fishermen who in return pay them as much as 10,000.

After all they are the most satisfied tribesmen and majority beneficiaries of the current regime. There are the unconfirmed rumours that the ruling party got 90% support from Buyende with FDC getting 40%, Mbabazi 20% and Kyalya 10%. Don’t mind if the maths does not add up, does it always add up anyway?

Lastly, just in case the first Lady does not forgive me as she did Stella Nyanzi, my next article shall be about preserving the environment and the current indiscriminate disposal of waste as well as the pathetic destruction of the flora and fauna of Uganda. I just realised recently that when we actually collect all our rubbish in the rubbish bins of Mbale the Municipal council carries the same waste and dumps it in Kamonkoli or the forest along Busiu road. It is some sort of madness that I wonder of what importance it is to collect the rubbish only to use it to pollute for the innocent people of Kamonkoli.

Back to the issue of pads which has become as contentious as the Makerere Professor herself, Busiu Youth Forum wrote a proposal requesting 40 million from NSSF friends with benefits to engage in the production and supply of free recyclable or reusable sanitary pads but just like the ministry of education, the NSSF thought that the girls may bleed later and did not fund us. If there is change of heart and you think that our proposal makes sense, all the government schools in the great Bungokho South can be covered with us. Do not say that am bribing anyone for an offer because the need is right before your eyes. Act now or watch another generation go down the drain as we keep talking emancipation and acting sexism. But wait, did we say women are majority in Uganda and they are also an interest group?

Let me ask for forgiveness!

NB: This article is a combination of fiction and reality. It is now the reader to sort the chaff from good or the good from the chaff. Whatever will be easy for you!

Living In March 2017, The Month of Stella Nyanzi

Issue 26

By Denis Wabuyi

Today, tomorrow or yesterday depending on when i will complete this piece of writing is/was a public holiday – it is/was Fools Day. That means that we shall not work if we are fools. But anyway, let us talk about conmen and con-women.

When people talk about conmen, I remember the many ambulances we had last year and in 2015 and wonder what happened to them. To where did they disappear? These days we only see one for Nakayenze moving around Mbale town and transporting the dead to their homesteads yet the real need is in the villages like Wapukunyanga. Such vehicles should be used to rush people to the nearest medical attention and not ferrying the dead.

Talking of Wapukunyanga, it is a village in Busiu Sub County. It used to have one homestead. The LC I was self-appointed or rather he became chairman by default only to hear that he also left the village and went to Kampala for green pastures???. So as we speak, it is likely that the fertile village of Wapuks does not have a village chair.
Back to the ambulances, I have no doubt that many have been turned into matatus but surely God is seeing you and it may be the reason some people could not even go through with the election that was full of deceit and faking.

About faking, I remember a certain guy who came to me requesting for money to go and pick his visa to America at the American embassy in Nsambya. I asked him how he expects to afford a ticket to America when he could not even afford transport to Nsambya. By the way Nsambya is the capital city of America in Uganda. I say this because when I tried to rent a house on one mall where Uchumi used to be, they told me rent is paid in dollars.

I even wonder what all these security agencies are for when we have people that reject the national currency at the front doors of the Bank of Uganda. People who refuse to transact in Uganda shillings are merely saying that you're money is garbage which is not true, our currency can't be garbage but for sure it maybe likened to dry grass or “kamasakari”. Of course, I don’t know the English meaning of Kamasakari but any Mugisu from Busiu can help translate for you.

Did I talk about treason? It reminds me of Besigye and FDC. Some few years back these guys had specialized in treason. They could have over 100 supporters battling treason at a go. Surprisingly none was charged and sentenced for that crime. They have now left it to Tony Kipoi Nsubuga, Mumbere, his subjects and those Buganda youths who bitterly contested the government move that blocked Kabaka from reaching Bugerere. Those guys thought that they loved Buganda more than the king. They were nabbed, incarcerated and Buganda has forgotten all about them. They are on etoffali building structures as their subjects languish in prisons. Some have died and others have lost hope of ever seeing their relations again. For those that are lucky, their parents can sell off their pieces of land and bribe the prisons warders to release them back door. That is a piece of advice.

By the way is Kipoi a Musoga or Muganda? Bugisu doesn't have the name Nsubuga, maybe he conned the name from someone. I hear he is not an easy man. Mbu he made his money from "magumba" in South Africa. In Bugisu we call it "Kamaloko" the kind of magic where a person can cast a foreign body into you by a mere flicker of the eye. Lucrative in South Africa I hear but we shall confirm that when we get to know who is conning us.

Back to our gracious topic of conmen, FDC seems to be under attack. The wife to defiance pastor David Ngabo was arraigned in court and the week after we saw NBS summon Frank Gashumba over conning whomever NBS knows. I wonder why the complainants went to the TV station instead of Police!

But anyway, Police also has its own issues. My prayer this year is for Uganda to legalise the sale of Marijuana to Uganda security agencies. We shall at least say Kaihura was high on substance when he told us that ADF was defeated and was not anymore then still tell us they killed his assistant, the fallen policeman Andrew Felix Kaweesi.

Talking of Kaweesi, may he rest in peace. The guy was hard working. In such a short period of time he had put up a lot to his bank account but this world is horrible. Andrew left all that to the vultures of the world unless his kids can get of age enough to enjoy the sweat of their father. I think men sacrifice a lot for their children.

But we cannot only say men because my occupation has brought me in touch with women who sacrifice 150% of their earnings to educate their children and make sure they get ahead! Women are the species who make men heroes.
Talking of heroes, the irony of life is that most people are rendered and referred to as heroes after they have passed on. Life ain’t easy. You die so that you can be crowned hero. I will not die, neither shall Stella Nyanzi die in her battle against whatever she knows better, she alleged that the first family does not have many bachelors degrees which is either true or not.

This Nyanzi woman has serious stuff she is spreading against the first family but that will be spared for another day.

By the way, who won the presidential debate of 2016? I think it was not Elton Joseph Mabirizi. I doubt Mabirizi’s credentials but I know that he is not the worst there is one guy I know who is worse.
And as a by the way, the great Elton Joseph Mabirizi has a bachelor’s degree but he cannot recall the institution that awarded the degree to him. Kwegamba he went down there and retuned with the bachelors.

As we wrap it up we also recognise that most royals were born in April. In fact there is a big likelihood that if it was not for change in days, my birthday would not have been in May. Kwegamba I can say that I was born on April 45th, the same month with Kabaka Mutebi, King Oyo and the Queen of England Her Majesty Elizabeth II (Elizabeth Alexandra Mary; born 21 April 1926)

As I wrap it up once more, we are in awe of the things that made news in March that as we were still mourning Kaweesi, David Kalinaki brought us and I “the phantasmagoria of crude and vulgar vignettes” that Stella Nyanzi used to rock the month of March.

Trials Of a Village Belle

I want to tell a story; the story of an African woman who tries to break barriers and come out of the vicious cycle of poverty caused, sustained, enjoyed and sponsored by her husband. I am therefore buying a sense of humor but I will weave this story with metaphors, enrich the content with irony and coat it with sarcasm. I will then present it to the readers via social media. If one of your weaknesses is inability to read long posts, do not go further than this.

In my country especially in this year of “hakuna mchezo”, unemployment and under employment are real but surprisingly some people are thriving and they are not worried at all. Those are the artificial elite of Uganda, their wealth is seasonal and not this climatic season but the political season. They remind me of what president Barack Obama insinuated to the Republican Party policy particularly to John Mccain; "Give more and more to those with most hoping that prosperity will trickle down to the poor". Is that not capitalism? Well in Uganda we also have our own "isms" and these are; tribalism, favouritism, and of recent we added racism (courtesy of Kiprotich. Racism means the act of participating in athletic races).

Back to Uganda, one time we were ranked the happiest people in East Africa which some envious people, probably it was Kenyans attributed to our poverty. They claimed that we are poor because we are happy. In return for the insult, we annexed Migingo Islands then went ahead to send our own Munyoro, Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta to become their president.

Back to happiness, I think that we are happy because we are poor.

No competition, no money, no worries. Can money be a problem if you do not have any? Of course not although somewhere in the article I will contradict self but come on, the pastor who preaches that money is source of all evil collects it every Sunday.

Back to our poverty, unemployment and happiness. We are going to handle these topics one by one and by the time we are done we shall have realized why this poverty is not going away soon. Buckle your seat belt, tulla okalile, tuwaye.

Poverty first.

Wakauna Simon was born in 1980 the same year as Woniaye Jackson. Wakauna's father was the defense secretary of the village as well as night watch man at the Nabisolo Primary school where his children attended their school. Just like Wandali his elder brother, Simon did not go far with his studies. If you asked him a question like how far did you go with your education, the answer would be like one of the cartoons. Wakauna did not go far with education because the school itself was not far from his father’s home.

Wakauna dropped out of school immediately after circumcision and married Nambuya who dropped out due to sight complications. One funny thing about Nambuya is that since quitting school she has never complained about her eyes. After all she spends most of her time on the daily routine of garden to kitchen to the well back to the kitchen then bed. All they can do at night is reproducing. They now have 8 children and if it was not for the nurse who chastised her husband at the last maternity engagement that almost cost her a life, Nambuya would be counting 10 citizens to her name. After all the Bible calls on us to produce and fill the world. By the way, it is worth knowing that Wakauna's dad inherited a lot of land from his own father. If it was not for his wife bearing only boys, he could not have sold off almost all the land to pay for "fine" to redeem his sons who keep impregnating school going girls. If he had girls we would call that "imali" but. God chose otherwise.

Wakauna's first-born was one of the brightest children in their class but envious neighbors bewitched him. Now he is on the streets of Mbale. He smokes those long cigarettes. His follower, Bessy recently dropped out and Wakauna made a fortune. From his 16 year old girl he got fine of 1 million and was later given 3 goats and 1 cow. In fact he is just waiting for Jussy to make 16 and also bring home some fortune. Wakauna has convinced his wife that he will be the first person to become a tycoon courtesy of their girls.

Nambuya is a quiet woman, she has been so since her childhood. When her husband boasts of making a fortune from trading her girls, she never replies. In fact she holds back the tears all the time she imagines what life her children are going to lead. What bothers her most is that her husband is proud of keeping their children in the same cycle as themselves. She has never seen any value in goats that can replace a daughter more so no man has gotten rich courtesy of marrying off their daughters. Having witnessed two of her nieces graduate last year, Simon is challenged that they are not likely to witness the same in their own home.

Under such circumstances and give a scenario like the above, a family like one of Simon will always rotate around poverty. All they do ties them to the same spot, same poverty and lack. And because the young don’t have elder siblings to look to, no inspiration shall move them to know the real value of education. Breaking such a barrier sometimes takes more generations.

Now that I am almost making the mandatory 1000 words for my article, I will not talk about happiness and unemployment as I had wanted. These are supposed to be topics of another day. The story behind Nambuya’s bitterness is that she is normally seen as the only failure in her father’s house. For while her sisters persevered and completed education, she had eloped with a son of the village chief. It is no wonder that whenever there are functions in their home, her father is ashamed to introduce her as his child.

This is not the same sentiment her mother holds but she feels the pain her daughter has to go through. There are times when her mother wishes that Nambuya is not invited for some family functions because even when they are speaking Enlglish, it is only Nambuya who will not understand everything that they will be saying. In family gatherings, her opinion is normally brushed to the side.

If Nambuya could only push back the time to 1999, she could have waited a little longer than sleep outside her father’s house, she could have listened to her mother or could put aside her pride, she could have stayed longer in school. 

All We Had Is Now Gone

#Issue 24

Mid last year when I thought that I could by now be walking over the moon, I set out to celebrate 26th March of every year as the most distinguished day in my life. Being one who doesn't value birthdays and other "bullshit" anniversaries that Ugandans are ever scampering to celebrate (even when they know not the origin), I thought that I would break the barrier to at least waste myself for a single day of the 365.

The year moved rather fast and I now find myself on this day. Locked up in my office in Maluku I am not celebrating but trying to put the past behind me and move in the direction not of my calling but preference. Life is too ironical and it is under a few circumstances that we can pride ourselves of being in charge of every aspect of our life. If you don't believe me ask Annet to tell you what Kaweesi thought he would do in 2020 when he would probably quit the police force and seek an elective post in Lwengo. He is nowhere as we speak. Ask Dr Specioza Wandira Kazibwe of what she pictured living with her husband till ripe age, now she is spinster/widow; actually with no title to describe her Marital status, ask Mugisha Muntu what perspective they had in mind while fighting to restore political sanity.

You can come closer and ask Mama Angelina Wapakhabulo if her husband thought there could be a time in Uganda again when a president could rule for more than two terms and beyond the age limit of 75. The examples are very many but we can end with the Tale of Two Persons; Sudhir Ruparelia and Crane Bank Uganda Ltd.

Crane plunged to a loss of Ushs 3.1billion in 2015 from a profit of 50.6 billion just a year ago in 2014. In 2014 Sudhir knew that he had found the niche in pearl of Africa. I doubt whether he had it in mind that he would lose Crane Bank and a number of other businesses just 2 years down the road.

Therefore, my brother, my sister we are not fully in charge of everything because even Gadafi had planned to send a Christmas gift to Best Kemigisha for 2011 but before the fall of that year, he was not a president anymore neither was he on face of this world.

Just like me, I pictured myself at a great social height on this day; I have no doubt that we could have attended the ongoing IAAF World Cross Country that is taking place in Kampala and would have been among those people cheering Jacob Kiplimo as he raised our flag having won gold but things truly fall apart. But all in all we have to be thankful to the Almighty Allah for granting us the mercy to live and witness our lives turned upside down for good or for bad. We should be thankful to nature for not being as selfish as people to let us coexist in spite of our greedy ambition to reap more than we always sow

I need not complain for what happened because it happened and I will never unmake it. Instead my conscience tells me that I can make up for the badness and set it aside by leaping higher than before. I also have no doubt that I will, but the process of overcoming a disappointment needs time, patience and sustained effort. Not that I don't have these but it is because the pain keeps coming back and I remember the time I wasted. Not that I don't put in much effort but because I have to endure the pain of paying double the price for the same measure.

Have you ever questioned the existence of God? I have done so a hundred times. Have you ever wondered whether other people also sin like you do? I have always wondered what colossal, crude unforgivable sin I have committed to pass through the Crucible of life. More so, you have to go through this while your neighbors who you see commit more deadly sins sail through unhurt, unchallenged and happily.

When life's hardships come your way, you start recalling all the sins you have committed but then look at your immediate neighbor and you recall that she is worse. You think of the one night-stand with a stranger but in the same fold you recall that your buddy who was recently introduced by his 12^th girlfriend had at one time raped and has been a committed participant in orgies and group sex. There is a time I thought that my troubles were caused by the illicit behavior of high school when I tested drugs, cigarettes and waragi with Kimera Cyrus my High School buddy but then I remembered that Kasirye Gwanga looks not to be badly off and yet he is a committed drunkard. Then I asked why me Lord?

These struggles of life are real and true but one thing I realized is that they teach you about life; they are clear indicators that happiness is not acquired through short cuts, that people only reap what they sowed and not vice versa. You can never sow what you reaped.

Yes, I have written this so many times and used it to self-console and brush aside my life frustrations but this particular one keeps coming back, it haunts me every minute of life. I cannot actually believe that hour which turned into hours then days. Days turned into a week and weeks into a month. Now it's months and I am still counting. By the way did I ask why me Lord? Surely, why me Lord?

There is nothing as painful as to watch what is yours being taken from you, you raise your hand trying to grab it back but the waves of life seem too determined and because you have tired you let go. Then like a leaf on a big ocean your fortune is carried away, you see it shrinking in size till it goes out of sight and you realize you have lost it. We can also compare it to a plane which carries away your friend and takes him while you're watching knowing that he will never return. I could have also referred to that moment when you lay a friend, neighbor, colleague or relative into that four corner shaped external house but that would be too harsh.

But to close it all I can relate it to when a person falls into a river, you watch while the river swallows him. Knowing that he is going you make an alarm to rally for help and no one turns up. At first you can see his waist then waves sweep him but at least you can see still his head. Lo the waters are unforgiving and soon his head sinks but you can locate him by the hand. Then damn he sinks for good. That is the pain I went through when I lost my treasure. When a person drowns, he or she returns to the shores as a corpse. Just like a corpse, my Treasure returned as a shell of its past self and I have to live with it.

As i write this, I cannot hold back the tears of losing my best; they say time heals wounds but I have seen wounds drive time in my life. No matter the number of times I have tried to move on, the ghosts of Good Friday of 2016 keep haunting me!

Issue 21

Accountability Is The Way To Go!

By Wabuyi Denis

One time I landed on a young man complaining to his peers that his benefactor is mean.

The cause for complaint was a little bit comic but real. This boy would be given money to go and purchase items for home use but every time he was sent would not return the change (call it balance). Being Ugandan, he didn't see much importance in giving back the "balance" or accounting to his benefactor.

To him, retaining a sum as little as 200 or 500 needed no explanation to a man who earns over 10 million in a month.

But this boy was astounded one time when he asked for a book from his guardian; the man reminded him of the 200 he retained when he was sent for sugar, 500 he when he went to buy salt, 800 when he was sent for soap, and 700 when he was sent to buy fuel. He therefore added him 1000 to buy a book of 3000 and bring back 200. Of course he did not have the money as he had used it for whatever;

To make matters worse for him, he was asked to present the book as evidence that he had bought it. This was a stunner and since then, the boy learnt to return change whenever he was sent for purchases. It is a simple example but may be a clear description of our society. We are being faced with a populace which is highly dependent and expectant of provision from the people who work hard to earn their money; there is always that feeling of entitlement, that the world owes us something which is not worse, the worst is the refusal to account for even what we are given for free.

If we were a developed country, we could say that everything is okay because there are those who have worked and they have some reserves to cater for the handouts and other social programes, but to a nation like Uganda everyone of us needs to take the bull by its horns inconsiderate of our position in life, government and society. Even when you're not working, you need to be seen to be working.     
                  

To develop an economy like Uganda from the scratches that we are; we all need to play a part in building the nation and truth be told, all those that will not accept symbiotic relationship will lose their relations and any existing hold to sanity. We need to harness and build a symbiotic sort of relationship because no nation works unless everyone plays their part. However this sustained hardwork should be backed up with a simple principle or rule; Accountability.

And it does not only have to be accounting for money that you received from a person; no but of course money takes first place when we talk of accountability because it alone defines your level of integrity and helps create trust and keep friendship. You can do many bad things to a friend and you bury the hatchet but when it comes to money, it often goes an extra mile into the mud and sometimes into madness!

But before bringing finance, let us look at how Ugandans are still struggling with Accountability;

Mutahi is a husband and a father of three. He returns home after 10 pm everyday apart from Sundays. Mutahi’s children have never known the sweetness of playing with a dad and many times they forget his voice and skin colour. On Saturdays when he would return earlier, he whiles it away with his buddies while watching his favourite team Arsenal. His friends call him a fool because Mutahi says that he can never engage in promiscuous activities like Kundu and Katamba. However, his wife is still bitter with him, his children are never comfortable in his presence. But what does he do with over 16 hours a day? Toil to make their lives better. What would make a difference is if he could sit with his baby mama and tell her where he gets the money that keep their children in the best schools. If he could only account for the time he spends away from home, there could be a jovial mood in the home. He could actually be having twins.

Wanendeya Bosco is in Senior 3. He has a sight problem and does not see the blackboard as well as Ndagire does; he therefore stays back with Ndagire every evening after class and she helps him with Maths. On Wednesday when the Senior Woman teacher found the 2 in a dark corner of the class, she pulled Wanendeya by ears to the staff room and had them lashed for “coupling”. In his mind, Wanendeya regards Ndagire to be a caring sister. That is why it hurts him when they associate their relationship with romantic intimacy. Bosco has never told his teachers that he has a sight problem, not even his parents. He therefore runs late for house chores every evening because he reaches home at 7pm and when his mother asks, his adolescence reminds him that he is a man not to be controlled.

Waiswa wakes up at 4 am every morning and goes to the banks of River Nile not to swim because he can’t swim. Every morning while going to work at Nytil, Zubair meets Waiswa jogging towards his muzigo. Even Waiswa is suspicious of Mukili who he meets every morning in a vest and shorts. Zubair therefore knows that Mukili and Waiswa are night dancers and he keeps telling his children to avoid their homes. However, Mukili was told to start intensive exercise or risk heart attack. Because he has no other time to do the exercise and muscle flexing, he has committed his first hour of every morning to road work on their village footpath. Waiswa was told by his music producer that he needs to work on his voice to perfect his music. He therefore has to wail along the river bank for at least one hour and the appropriate time is night when all other noises are out. It is why he wakes up at 4 every morning.

From the above examples Waiswa and Mukili are doing perfectly what is right but because they have not accounted their actions to the people, in a closed society like Bulyankuyege of Buikwe they were told to vacate the village.

Back to finance; Waweyo went to withdrawal his father’s pension. He spent 20,000 on his girlfriend, used 5,000 to buy pineapples and watermelon, bought a nice watch at 1500 for his mother and some herbs for his father. When he reached home, he explained everything to his father  including 20,000 which he said he spent on “some personal issue”. His father understood and thanked him. Because Waweyo was at campus, they sent Timothy to withdrawal money last month. He bought many things and brought them home but he could not recall everything he bought including the 50,000 he paid to Pande for the items they had taken on credit. He tried to recall but could not remember where 50,000/- went. His father abused him calling him a cheat but he knew that the money was spent rightfully. The issue here is accountability. Waweyo wasted 20,000 on his chick but because he was smart enough to even account for it, he beat Timothy who didn’t waste any money but had a stone for a head.

So many times we have seen organizations start and close in the first 5 years of operation; it is accountability, we have seen relationships collapse and marriages collapse just because people cannot account to one another. We take it for granted that maybe the money is little, I spent just a few hours outside home they will understand not knowing that we are killing a marriage, relationship or business. It reminds me of some incident with my ex-girlfriend. She asked whether she could join me in town and I just told her no, she asked why and I told her not to mind. After helping mummy do the shopping we returned home and being that I was tired, I went straight to bed at 8pm; all the calls my girlfriend made went unanswered. Waking up with no airtime I thought I would call her when I reach office which I didn’t because of an arising situation that called for a meeting.

By then it was 1pm and I had not called her neither did she; at around 5 pm a message came in to my phone; “I did not know that our love could end like this”. Did I say she is my ex?

If this post was too long but you still read it, thank you. It was meant to pass just two messages; communication and accountability, ditch them and you too will be ditched!