Considering Marriage, Choose Wisely

 

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Well, you can call me what you want after reading this article but I am not what you think I am. I am starting it on a bitter/negative note because the first person to read this article was a woman. She intently read everything (as she always does for my articles) and after that, she called me a male chauvinist pig. I swallowed it.

Our topic for today is marriage, love and relationships. It was inspired by a true story from my "presidential" advisor on love matters. Since I started following his advice, he has only been wrong 3 times. Since we met I have taken his advice only 3 times.

So, we were talking about how he ended up with his wife of now 2 beautiful children. He told me how it happened as some sort of an accident and assured me that in this world, a man cannot get what he wants in regard to marriage**. This was his story:

“After graduating and getting a simple job in Kampala, it was time to start dating real women - outside campus life. My desired quality was a slim, brown girl with a matching height. It was not long until I landed on this "fantamaglorious" charming lady from one of those big churches in the city. We started dating. The problem with these girls is their social life which is limited to church, and outings for food. For me, life started after 10pm and the obvious places you would find me would be bars watching football and quite often, I would end up in a club or music concert. In all these outings, I would be with my buddies who at times would move with their chics and in most cases, side chicks. It was not long until I got my girlfriend a helper.”

At this time I looked at my advisor and inside my head, a voice said, “fumitta embozzi” and like a loyal story teller, he continued.

“I met Nalumansi in one of those top clubs in Kampala. She was in a situation almost similar to mine; her boyfriend was a Christian lad who seemed more committed to church than anything else. One thing led to the other and I don't know how but she ended up at my apartment on one of those funny weekends.”

“She was the best girl ever. We did all that we did while knowing that each of us had our loyal partners who we kept at heart and they also had us in their prayers everyday.” my advisor added.

I was somehow getting angry that the story was going to end so fast because I see him ending up with Nalumansi but then he told me in a clear loud voice, without mentioning it, “katandika butandisi”

“So how I ended up with my current wife is a long story; but to cut it short, God relieved me of my beautiful Christian, brown girl. She called one evening, asking to meet at my house. I could not believe that a girl who has held out for this long had finally accepted. It was a Saturday evening. She came and everything happened. But in the morning as she was organising to leave, that girl made a revelation that left me wondering why I did not know the brown devil that I was dealing with. Amidst sobs and tears, she told me it was the last time we may be meeting. I could not understand but she made a confession that if the devil was listening, I think satan too was startled, but that is how it ended. I tried pursuing her alongside Nalumansi but we reached a time when we had to let go and we ended it”.

He did not tell me what the confession was about but he said, it was at around the same time that Nalumansi's boyfriend was arrested over something that went wrong at his workplace and taken to prison.

“It was at the same time that I made a self evaluation and thought about how fast life was moving. I helped Nalumansi have her man secure bail and at that moment, unfortunately or fortunately, we struck up a friendship that you would never wish for. But the guy had vibe. He started advising me about relationships and told me some of his dirty dealings with women. In one of “them” conversations, he told me to never count myself to be in a relationship unless I have a woman who has real “nyashi””

Wherever this conversation was heading was a totally wrong direction. I therefore called it off and asked my advisor on love, marriage and relationships to stop there because his advice was sounding like Kusasira's advice to Museveni and I thought that he needs a few words of advice from myself. After all, we have known that some advisors need more advice than the advised.

To my advantage, his wife called and asked him to find her at Senana. She had come with the kids and did not want to go back home on a Bodaboda. He promised to continue the story when we meet next weekend.

"I want to know how this relationship with Nalumansi went and how you ended up with your wife. But first tell me what the confession from the other Christian Lady was about" I asked him soon as we re-united the following weekend.

"Anyway, I don't know how those people (the Christians) do their thing but after denying me conjugal rights for over 1 year, she accepted on the day she came to announce our break up. Her Church Parson had called her and convinced her that a conversation between the Parson and God had ended in agreement that Sheila (that was her name) should get married to Pastor's son. Being what she was, a confused young woman who had spent more time in Church than, anywhere else, she obliged. But before she could commit herself, she had thought to sin just this once and with me."

That was startling.

"Since then, I took advice from Nalumansi's boyfriend, between beauty and intelligence, when picking choosing a woman to marry, choose Nyashi, you will never regret!"